You have likely heard someone say, “Always go with your first thought.” Or “Your first thought is likely your best thought.”
While I have nothing against first thoughts, I am here to offer a different perspective.
Because I think, move, and live at a fast pace, I tend to be impatient. Over the years, I have learned to make a conscious effort to slow down, and as a result, I have a more developed patience “muscle” than I used to, but it’s still something I have to work on daily.
My first thought often leaves others a bit on their heels.
Sometimes, this is because of an offense and a bruised ego. Sometimes, it is because I am impatient and looking for the most direct way to respond. Either way, I am often better off when I do not let my first thought take the lead and allow myself the opportunity to reconsider. This process of reconsideration often brings a sense of relief, as I realize that my second thought is more optimal and more tactful.
I decided to take a scientific approach to testing my hypothesis. I started tracking how many times I went with my first thought and had a good outcome versus my second thought. I kept a record of these instances over a period of time, and the results confirmed my belief.
For me, someone prone to impatience, my outcomes are far better when I follow my second thoughts. My second thoughts are more gentle. But that’s me.
It’s essential to consider your attributes before deciding which thoughts lead you to the most optimal outcomes. For example, if you know that your natural tendency is to deliberate something to death and struggle to make decisions, perhaps you should go with your initial thought more often if simply to move things along. (See, I told you I was impatient!). Understanding and acknowledging your tendencies puts you in control of your decision-making process.
You could also enlist the support of a thought partner who will help you counterbalance your tendency to deliberate to death. In summary, my meta point here is that we all should be mindful of our natural inclinations and how they drive our decision-making, whether productively or detrimentally. Being mindful of these inclinations is the first step to making more conscious and informed decisions and better relationships.
As you move through your day, consider the better thought.
